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A practical guide to navigating death in nonmonogamous relationships, informed by first-hand experience.
Rarely does the question of death come up in discussions of nonmonogamy. But whether it’s sudden or expected, nonmonogamous people must face death like anyone else—as well as its consequences on those left behind after a loved one is gone.
As nonmonogamous people, how can we plan ahead for our own and our loved ones’ deaths? How can we best navigate a funeral industry that may not understand our relationships, a legal system that’s not set up to recognize our commitments, and a social world that can be unfriendly to grieving partners outside the monogamous model? How do we take care of ourselves and each other in times of grief and loss?
In Nonmonogamy and Death, Kayden Abley leads us through these difficult and tender questions with compassion and care, providing guidance to help you find your own answers.
Introduction
Part 1: Planning for Death in the Context of Nonmonogamy
What’s Different for Nonmonogamous People
When It Comes to Planning for Death
Advance Care Planning
Dying without a Will
Making a Will and Planning Your Estate
Children and Other Dependents
Assets and Debts (Including Property)
Burial or Cremation Plans
Part 2: Coping with Death in Nonmonogamy
Conversations to Have after a Death Has Occurred
Issues for Emotionally Close, Domestic or Nesting Partners
Issues for Partners Who Aren’t Involved in the Everyday Aspects of the Deceased’s Life
Discrimination within Funeral Services
Grieving Relationships That Do Not Exist for the Mainstream World
Grief and Its Many Forms
Conclusion
Notes
Glossary
Bibliography